 |
THE
BAND
DISCOGRAPHY
ORDER
ARTWORK
|
|
THE BAND
Frankensteinway have
been around for a few years now and you may be wondering just who
these people are that form such elegant silhouettes (right).
Jason's the one on the
left who looks like his right thigh has been broken, Karl is in
the middle with what looks like a large box on his left knee and
Mark is on the right and looks like he's balancing a plate on his
head whilst his left arm and leg appear to form a wing-like membrane.
More detailed but equally
non-sensical information can be found below:
|
|
 |
|
Jason was one of the founding members
of the band.
Jason ‘Wine Lodge’ Yates was discovered washed
up wrapped in a pile of reeds on the banks of the Nile. Scattered
fractured recollections of his varied career began to surface during
in depth interrogation by the FBI. His various guises included Dustman,
Inventor of the Wheel, Market Gardner, Breadwinner of the Family,
William Faraday, William Shatner, Bill Gates, Monosodium
Glutamate, Yellow, and the Pope. Soon after being elevated to
the position of All Powerful and Ever Living God, Jason grew tired
of his Divine, All Knowing role, and the pressures of Omnipotence
proved too much. He turned to his music - writing his compositions
by night he cut a crust by day selling Alpine Horns to the Aborigines
at C&A.
|
|
 Mark
‘Diddy’ Hamilton, after nearly four heady seconds
of the gruelling tour schedule of Zildo Funklove and the Thunderchickens
had become disillusioned with his role as The Man Who Got Slapped.
After a string of solo chart failures, he spent his days trying
on trousers in C&A’s. Little did he suspect the quirk of
fate that was to throw him into the limelight.
Mark Hamilton, labouring under the impression
that a Swiss Alpine Horn was a pair of trousers, impressed Jason
with his attempt to don the instrument and the melody produced by
his struggles. (Don ‘The Instrument’ was later
to become the band’s engineer.) They formed Frankensteinway
on the spot - but they were yet to realise their full potential.
And then Karl joined.
|
Karl
'Two-fat ladies 99' Bunyan
was previously gigging with the classic sixties combo 'Nice work
(if you can get it)' before being involved in a horrific guitar
restringing accident which left him paralysed with fear. His body
was discovered by the roadside and rebuilt using six-milion dollar
technology. It was whilst trying to repay this debt through regular
busking that he was discovered by Jason and Mark beneath
the fish-fingers in Asda (Southend remix). They were
so impressed by the noise that Karl's barcode made when they
reached the checkout that they instantly signed him to the band.
The receipt has not yet been found.